To Each His Own

Sharing this part of my life here on the interwebs was pretty terrifying. 

I'm a pretty open book normally, but this particular topic is one so deep and dark that it was hard to share. 

But something really astounding happens when you share something painful with the world. . .the world shares it with you. 

It sounds cliche, but I guess I wasn't expecting anyone other than my faithful Maid of Honor and my fiance to read it and after posting it I didn't really know how anyone would react to it. 

I was completely overwhelmed when I found dozens of messages, texts, and calls from people I'm close to and some I've never even spoken to. 

Some were shocked that a woman they once knew and loved so much had fallen victim to this disease, and some were even more shocked that they didn't know. 

Some were empathetic, offering support and kindness for both of us. 

But the most surprising thing I found was that almost everyone had their own stories of heartbreak dealing with the same thing. 

Maybe not alcoholism, some of them were drug addictions and depression...some of them shared stories of separated families and poverty and loss. 

Each and everyone one, though, shared a common thread. A common tragedy that related them to our family's heartbreak and struggle and through sharing you could tell we both felt a sense of relief that someone out there has felt the same anguish, has sat in the same emergency room, has dreaded the same fate. 

It moved me deeply to have so many of you trust me with your own stories, and even more honored to know your resilience, your strength, and your power. 

The one most important thing my mother ever taught me is that every single person is fighting a battle. It might not be the same as your's but it's still a battle. 

You may not understand the fight they are going through, but remember what it's like to have to fight at all. So treat each other the same way you'd like to be treated, with love and kindness and patience.

My future in-laws are in town, and we're having such a wonderful time. After the storm last night, they offer a refreshing calm and lightheartedness that's reminding me that I'm surrounded by unexpected love constantly. 

Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm excited to get back to sharing planning with you all on here. 

Again, thank you to everyone for your kind words. 

(Untitled)

Last night was a rough night.

A harsh reminder of the darkest times, and a reality I've been desperately trying to cover with wedding plans and big dreams.

It's going to be a big year. I'm getting married, I'm getting a house, I have a loving fiance, an amazing job(s) and a new dog and everything I could ever ask for. Even a new iPhone.

By any standards I count myself lucky. Unreasonably and maybe even unfairly so. All of my dreams are coming true.

Except one.


Eight years ago, which seems almost like an eternity ago, my dad left his wife and his family.

It was the evening of my band senior night, and our annual Halloween party.

To make a very long story short, we ended up losing everything.

We lost our house, we had to sell our stuff, and most of all we lost my mother.


For those who haven't met my mother, if you asked any of my friends they would tell you what an incredible person she was.

She was kind, smart, and absolutely hilarious.

She had this wit and sarcasm that would put the whole room in stitches and a persona that immediately made people feel comfortable.

My mother was everyone's mom. She took in lost children like cats and dogs off the side of a road. Everyone called her "mom" and she's known for feeding armies with her incredible cooking (that I can never seem to replicate, despite my best efforts to follow her instructions EXACTLY) and inserting magic into every day.

I could go on for pages about how she would make reindeer hoof prints in the frozen ground to make us believe, or how she taught us how to open band aids in the dark so we could see them spark, or how she stayed up late into the night to cook dozens of cookies that we totally forgot that we needed for class the next day...

I could go on forever about the amazing person she was.

But the fact of the matter is that she isn't that person anymore.


After my dad left, my mother found herself alone after 16 years of marriage.

She found herself incapable of taking care of her children, without a home and without any hope.

It wasn't long before she became paralyzed by depression which eventually spiraled into alcoholism.


The first time I got a call about her being admitted to Peninsula, I had no idea what to do.

I didn't know what bills I needed to pay or how to pay them and how to feed me or my brother, after all I was a highschool senior...what was I suppose to do?


It was the beginning of a very long, treacherous road for my entire family.


Since then it's been eight years of long drive to rehab centers in other states. Eight years of nights in hospitals fighting with doctors, fighting with her, fighting with everyone.

Eight years of screaming and crying and losing hope as we watched my mother disappear into an addiction that seemed insurmountable.


There has been so much hope, in that time.

Rehabs that really did seem to work and we'd go weeks or months with her starting all over.

But with a relapse rate of 50-90%, it wasn't surprising when it all disappeared again.


Recently we finally found an incredible program locally that was finally, FINALLY working.

She had made so much progress, made so much improvement and it appeared as though everything was truly coming out of the woods.


But those programs are expensive, and not meant for those without good insurance and a savings plan or an income. And within a few months we were forced to abandon it and resort to the other programs available.



Last night was a really bad relapse.

I guess I knew it was coming, since it has been just a few weeks since she's been out of the program.

But it never stops hurting every time it happens.



If you've been through this disease, if you've experienced anything similar you understand how helpless you feel when you watch your loved one slowly waste away with no way to save them.



And I guess I've put this all out here on this wedding blog, because I honestly am not sure if my mom will make it to my wedding day.

I can't fully describe here, in this blank space, what a terrifying thought that is.

I can't tell you how much I dread waking up to find that I'll have to keep planning the biggest day of my life knowing that she likely will not be there to see it.




I suppose I'm writing this for your support, or your prayers, or whatever it is you might have to help me get through days like today.

Because I know I'm lucky. I know it.


But sometimes having everything doesn't seem like quite enough.

The Importance of "Honor"

It's been a long day.

We had a really successful open house at Bradford, and I got to spend all day planning weddings with excited brides and unfortunately decided that wearing heels was a brilliant idea.

And while I was trying to decide what to write about, it became pretty clear.


There is a lot of honor to be had when it comes to your Maid of Honor.

Mine happens to be my best friend, Melissa.

Yeah, she's beautiful. 

And besides her good looks, she's also a big time producer in DC. Like, Washington, DC. 

Which means she lives really far away, and that makes me sad. But let's back up to how we met. 

Once upon a time, we were both working overnight shifts at a local news station here in Knoxville. 

It's pretty much the most miserable shift ever, and you spend countless hours listening to static on scanners and praying nothing goes up in flames. 

We basically ended up talking to each other out of desperation, as we were the only two people in the building. 

But we soon found that our love of As Seen On TV products and line dancing made us instantly besties. 

And from there we spent many a night drinking and complaining about boys and watching Scandal during the best and worst times of our lives. 

Now, I was a little worried about having a Maid of Honor that lived really far away, but I knew it had to be her. 

And if you didn't know, there is a LOT riding on being a Maid of Honor...

You have a ton of duties like planning the bachelorette party, planning the bridal shower, helping the bride pick out dresses, and most importantly keeping the bride sane during all of the planning and the wedding!

It's a lot of work, and a lot of time and money. 

Not an easy task to do from far away. But Melissa is kicking ASS. 

She's been there every step of the way, and has been all of the things a Maid of Honor should be.

And because of all the incredible things she's already done as MOH, I thought during our blog journey, we'd keep touching base with this:

The Melissa Toms Handbook to Being a Kick Ass Maid of Honor*

1. Be enthusiastic - Everybody gets one day where they get to be treated like a Queen, and this wedding is NOT YOUR DAY. It's your bride's, and she's over the moon about it. A lot of her friends, family, and even bridesmaids are going to get sick of hearing about flowers and cakes and minuscule wedding details and it's YOUR job to be just as excited about napkins and hair and whatever else she wants to be excited about. It will undoubtedly be exhausting try to keep up with her, but your unwavering enthusiasm will mean the world to her. 

2. Offer reassurance - Getting married is freaking terrifying. You're committing the rest of your life to this one person, and that's a pretty intimidating thought. There will be moments when your bride is going to freak out and meltdown and probably cry a lot. Your job is to be constantly reassuring her that everything will be fine, and that her wedding day will be perfect (even though something will inevitably go wrong, she doesn't need to hear that!). Just be there for her, even if that means letting her cry over things that don't seem very big or important. 

3. Rally the troops - The brides not the only one who has planning to do. You've got the bridal shower and the bachelorette party to plan, and the truth of the matter is, you also have a group of bridesmaids to chorale. They're going to be a group of very different people who are likely meeting each other for the first time. You're in charge, and you have to make sure that they all get along, and get to where they are suppose to be to support the bride. And you'll probably have to smack the groomsmen around a little too. 

4. Say yes to the dress (but also sometimes say no) - You've been chosen as the MOH for a reason...and that's because you're awesome. And also the bride trusts you! Your opinion means more than pretty much everyone else's and she definitely wants you to weigh in. That means definitely be excited about her choices, but if she really has chosen a horrible dress, step in and get real. That's what friends are for! Well, maybe not friends, but definitely the MOH!

*totally a thing Marvyl made up and Melissa had no input in. Just based off of Melissa's actions and super awesome attitude. 

To be continued as Melissa continues to be the best MOH ever.

Sticker Shock

This is basically a summary of how I felt every time I looked at a price proposal for our wedding services.


Because HOLY SHIT. (This expletive was COMPLETELY necessary, I'm sorry.)


Even working in the wedding industry and literally handing out these same prices to people, I found myself keeling over and wanting to end it all just thinking about how much money was going into this ONE day of my life.



But thankfully, I picked myself up and actually thought about it again, and had to tell myself the same thing I rant about at bars on lonely Tuesday nights after dealing with brides-to-be bitching at me because "they're on a budget" (PRO TIP: The entire world...THE ENTIRE WORLD is on a budget, pal.) and a cost seems "outrageous" to them.


My rants basically go like this...

These people you're hiring, first of all, are experts. They know how to get shit done. And not only that, they're doing their job every day in the most high-stress environment dealing with the most high strung people you could ever deal with on a the most important day of their entire lives.

Secondly, they have ONE chance to get it right. If you go into your job and mess up, you're all like, ok that sucks but tomorrow will be better. THERE'S NO TOMORROW for them. It's seriously the most insane pressure you could ever put on someone.

"So like, this is the day I've waited for my whole life annnnd I kind of need it to be the most spectacular thing in the world, and I need you to be sure and not mess it up...k, byeee!" - Said every bride ever

So they're doing all that, and that's only the stuff you SEE. Don't forget about the months of preparation they've had to make your day magical, and you certainly shouldn't forget about the hard work they have to do afterwards, while you're whisked away to your honeymoon!

Think about your photographers, who work the whole day (dealing with your soon-to-be mother-in-law freaking out, your great aunt convincing them SHE knows just how they should be taking those pictures, your drunk uncles, your rowdy nephews, and occasionally a goat or two) making memories you'll cherish forever.

Then, they go home, and work for weeks editing and printing and uploading those beautiful images for you.

When you break down how much work they're doing by the hour, and the value of pictures you'll literally love your whole life...it doesn't seem like a great cost now, does it?

The same goes for all your vendors. They're there before, during, and after, waiting hand and foot on you and putting their heart and soul and passion into your big day.



Because I had about five seconds of being in a bride's expensive shoes, I wanted to share the reality of the situation from the other side of the veil.


The people you're choosing to hire are artists. They're talented and compassionate, dedicated and loyal, and they'll work harder than anyone you've ever met just to create one day of happiness for someone they probably barely know.

So yes, you're going to spend  we're going to spend a shit ton of money on ONE day of our lives.


But damn. It's going to be the best day ever. And it's all because of the people behind the scenes, making the magic. So here's how we should all really feel, because we aren't doing any of that hard stuff! We're just walking down the aisle!

You Can Never Choose on Netflix!

Ok, that was a slightly misleading title but whatever.



You get a funny look from people when you tell them you're having a themed wedding.

But there's a million reasons why we're doing this travel theme, and I guess this extraordinarily warm weather has me longing for summer days and margaritas and it made me want to tell you this story.



When Eric and I first started dating, there was something about him that made me fall faster than me in heels walking down stairs-he has an incredible sense of adventure.

Like, the kind of adventure that supports me when I suddenly want to take up tap dancing or salsa or go to a Ramen Noodle Museum in Japan.


But he also has an insatiable curiosity.

His brain works in completely different ways than mine, and it's really fascinating to see him tackle problems. And it's even more so to see him learn.

I have learned SO much since we started dating because he loves to learn and explore and find answers.


One of my favorite memories ever were when we were lounging around indecisively browsing Netflix. We'd gotten into the pattern of watching a documentary every week, and were going back and forth about what we were in the mood to watch that evening.

We stumbled upon the documentary "The Island President" which had an intriguing look about it, but when we read the description it said something along the lines of this:

"President Mohamed Nasheed of the Maldives is confronting a problem greater than any other world leader has ever faced - the survival of his country and everyone in it. Nasheed, who brought democracy to the Maldives after decades of despotic rule, now faces an even greater challenge: as one of the most low-lying countries in the world, a rise of three feet in sea level would submerge the 1200 islands of the Maldives and make them uninhabitable. A classic David and Goliath tale, THE ISLAND PRESIDENT captures Nasheed's battle to stop global warming - and save his country."

So I say, "Where the heck are the Maldives?" because apparently my Anderson County education hadn't made it that far around the globe.

He said, "I don't know."

And that could have been the end of the conversation for me, because frankly, I could have cared less about it. I mean, I wanted to get my Netflix on.

But he did something that stunned me for some reason, and he pulled out his phone and he started researching it.

He pulled up a map of it, he found out the population and the national language and together we learned all about these islands that neither of us ever knew existed before that day.

We watched the documentary and at the end of the night, I just looked at him.

Here's this guy I met at Hannah's. This engineer who founded a frat and drives a Mustang and is anything but what I expected him to be...and he's mine.


Now, this is a normal thing for us. Any answers we don't know, we find out together.

I've learned so much, and I am so excited that one day my children will grow up with a father who loves to learn new things, who strives to learn something new every day, and who will inspire them to have that same appetite for a life of knowledge.



And I guess that was a really long winded way of saying, part of the reason we're doing a travel theme is because of our dreams of learning together, and learning about the world. All of our wedding will represent facets of our hopes and dreams and goals, and we'll do that by throwing a completely baller party.



By the way, watch "The Island President" but skip the ending. IT WAS SO SAD.

I Believe in Whimsical Magic

Between the age of 4 and 11, I was the same three things for Halloween every year.

A bride, a princess, or a winter queen (which was basically the princess with more sparkles). 

These choices seemed pretty contrary to my usual tom-boy attitude toward life, but each Halloween I only wanted to wear a white dress that I would continue to wear  (all day and also to bed) until my mother snuck it out of the house while I was at school. 

But aside from my white-dress obsession, I thought relatively little about my future wedding. 

My Barbies never got married, I never played pretend marriage...mostly I was pre-occupied with dreaming about my future at school. I was THAT kid. I was much more interested in getting an A on my paper than I was about boys, which ultimately I concluded was due to a traumatic experience I had in fifth grade in the cafeteria with a kid named Sam...but I digress. 

Anyways, when it came to start thinking about my wedding I approached it the same way I approach everything, which is with completely unrealistic standards.

I want everything perfect, and I want it to be exactly how it is in my head...transforming the station into a beautiful around-the-world-experience I hope for. 

And while normally this would be an ordinary feat for me to pull off, the downside is that I can't do it. This is the one moment in my life that I leave something so huge in the hands of other people with pretty much a complete inability to be there to control everything. 

Which, for me, is a pretty terrifying thought. 

But I'm lucky, because my dream wedding has landed in the best hands and a large part of that is due to my friends at Whimsical Gatherings. 

I first met Leah and Colby out dancing at Sassy Anns, and instantly knew they were my kind of people. 

They love beautiful, glittery, fabulous things and dancing...so that pretty much covered all my bases. 

But after I met them, I found out they worked together with Carrie at Whimsical Gatherings, a floral design studio that creates pure magic. 

I'm serious. Like, real life fairy tale magic. 

I instantly became obsessed with their work. I mean, look at this. LOOK AT IT.

Photo credits: Natalie Watson (www.nataliewatsonphotography.com)

So of course I made it my only goal to work with them to help create the Wanderlust theme I was hoping for. 

We met at their studio, which was incredible.

Dozens of candles illuminated a room of flowers, sculptures, and decor that would have been enough to host a wedding right then and there in. 

They had champagne and strawberries out on platters, and we sat and laughed and dreamed up everything I could ever hope for. 

It was by far the best consultation a bride could ever hope for, and I was so amazed at how enthusiastic they were to create my fairy tale. I was even more impressed at how they instantly were drawing sketches and dreaming up things that so perfectly encapsulated what I was envisioning. 

I walked away so comforted knowing that my big day was in the most beautiful hands. 

You can of course see some of their work on my blog board: Follow Marvyl's board To Be Triscritti on Pinterest.

Or you can see their Facebook here!

And you see tons of their work on their website here. 

I'm Too Tired to Do That

Basically every bridal to-do list starts with "Begin fitness routine" to which I say:

I literally thought all day about how I was going to come home and head down to our very nice work out facility at our apartments and work really hard and maybe stretch and run or something, but then pasta and the Lifetime Network happened. So I sat on the floor and watched Hoarders while I desperately attempted to pick out wedding colors.

Which by the way ended up looking like the foundation for a Pollock painting and got me absolutely no where.

I'm definitely struggling with the overall concept of the day. It's like I have all the big pieces, like the outer edges that are the super easy part of the puzzle...and now I'm just hopelessly looking at the middle holding all these white pieces because FOR SOME REASON I decided to get a puzzle with SNOW on it and all the snow pieces look EXACTLY THE SAME.

(If you can't tell, I made a poor Christmas present decision that ended really traumatically.)

Anyway, so while I'm toiling away over the middle pieces, every book and blog and episode of me walking up our three flights of stairs is telling me I should probably start working out soon because I'm about to have a bazillion people staring at me in a white dress and since there is no color more flattering to a pail, awkward red head...I should probably get on that.

But then, the entire series of Friends is on Netflix...soooooooo.



It's definitely Monday. And the struggle is REAL.

Oh, and I have a blog board for my engagement party which is bordering on New Year's Eve and I-Really-Need-An-Excuse-To-Get-Those-Sequin-Table-Cloths. Follow Marvyl's board Engagement Party on Pinterest.

Finally a Pink Bride

After working what seemed to be a thousand bridal shows, I was SO pumped to finally BE a bride at one.

Even though I had mostly everything picked out, I was dreaming about the moments when I'd walk around with the "bride" badge, eat EVERY caterers food even though I had no interest in actually booking them (and maybe get seconds...and thirds...) and look at every chair and table and florist and enter every single raffle I could get my sparkly, diamond-laden hands on. 

In reality, I had bloody heels and had to take a nap before getting back up and writing this, but that's where I'm at with life right now, so. 

I worked the first half of the show, which kind of summed up the whole engaged experience for me. It's like, 50+ hours a week you're working your life away, but then you get to come home and blissfully ignore reality while you plan the biggest party of your life. 

It's kind of amazing, and gives you a lot to look forward to. 

So I get done working and Eric meets me there. We walk in, and despite me having been there for three hours already, it was TOTALLY overwhelming. 

It was like a gazillion brides and their mom's and their entire bridal entourage milling around on top of hundreds of dazzling, lit up vendor booths all with people desperately bidding for your attention as you walk by. 

A totally weird experience coming from the other side of that aisle. 

But Eric was enthusiastic about being there, which was awesome and so we slowly waded into the herd. 

There was definitely a lot of pressure taken off going in with most of our vendors. I can't really imagine what it would be like facing that whole thing with no idea what you were planning, because it's a lot to take in. 

But everyone was so friendly and helpful, and as we walked around we were pointing and gawking at all the things, and actually walked away with some new ideas. 

The best part though, was the fashion show. 

Now, I initially had no intention of going because I had listened to so many of them, and they all sounded so cheesy and awful and forced. 

But with the world's best sport on my arm, we decided to sit through it so we could be present for the cash raffle afterwards. 

We sat down on the third row by the runway, took a few selfies, and flipped through the dozens of materials we'd been handed up to that point. 

Before the show started, the host started asking questions, having brides and their mom's come up on stage and dance...which actually got everyone in a pretty fun mood and had us feeling better about staying. 

After we got to see the mom's twerk, he asked all the grooms that were present to come up on stage. 

I don't know if you guys know this, but Eric is the ultimate volunteer, especially if dancing may be involved. 

He jumped up on stage, and the host went on about some life lessons for a happy marriage and then handed them all gift cards....FOR FREE WEDDING BANDS. WHAT. 

So even though I was only ONE DIGIT OFF of my ticket winning us three hundred dollars, we definitely walked out of there with a great prize. 

The fashion show ended up being a lot of fun, and we did really get some ideas for my dress and even the suits we wanted. It did involve an awkward kind of step show where no one really knew what was going on, but nonetheless we enjoyed it. 

Afterwards we went to dinner and then came home where we proceeded to be old people and went to bed. 

I have the worst blisters from wearing unrealistic shoes, but I have to say FINALLY getting to be a bride in a bridal show was definitely awesome. 

You can check out the Pink Bride pins here!

By the way, shameless self-plug...look at how AWESOME our booth looked this year!!

A Grand Adventure Starts Here

To go with our travel theme, we're getting married at the most amazing place.

It's called the Historic Southern Railway Station and it's nestled right in the heart of downtown Knoxville.

I love this place for a variety of reasons, and I was absolutely thrilled that we were able to book it for our big day.


To start with, there's really no where better suited for our theme than a train station!

It was built in 1903 and shuttled passengers on 30 daily trains to and from Knoxville.

It's amazing architecture and grand feel were designed by Frank P. Milburn and everything in the building makes you feel the energy of busy days from long ago.

You can almost hear the shuffling of feet, the ringing of train whistles, and the chatter of the passengers that once milled around it's ballrooms and majestic staircase.


Although it ceased to be a train station in 1970, it was bought and renovated in the 80s.

Now it's an event space, with Blue Slip Winery hosting it's newest home downstairs.


We'll be holding our ceremony downstairs in the Samuel Spencer Ballroom, and our reception upstairs in the Southern Ballroom both of which you can see here.


Besides it's beauty and historical impact on Knoxville, it's also special because of it's location.

Outside of busy downtown but still within walking distance of 100th block and Gay Street, it's only a two minute walk from where Eric and I met for the first time.

It's also within walking distance of the hotel our guests will be in, and some of the best restaurants in Knoxville like Cru, Shuck, and everything on Market Square.


There's plenty of parking, and the kitchen spaces for the caterers (which is important to me, as I work for a catering company) are large and easy to access.


And if all of that doesn't sound perfect enough, let me tell you about the staff.


There's been a transition of staff as they've continued to grow and expand, and so far Lynn, Clay, and all of their team have been AMAZING.

They've been easy to contact and quick to communicate with, and most importantly for me VERY flexible with times to meet.

Any of my insane questions I've needed answers for they've gotten to me immediately all the while being excited about my event and so very kind and patient.


Needless to say, we're pumped. It's our dream venue, and every detail so far has made it even more perfect for us.


Check out my blog board on Pinterest to see an inside look of the station: Follow Marvyl's board To Be Triscritti on Pinterest.


Or you can check out more on their website here.


We're starting our grand adventure here, and I can't wait!

We Call Him Fancy

One of the best things about our big day is that every single person that will be in the room is someone we love.

All of our chosen vendors are people we adore, and people who have made a huge impact on our lives.


And our videographer is no exception. We call him "Fancy".

Fancy's actual name is Andrew.

We met when I worked at WBIR. See how cool we are?

Did I mention he's marrying this beautiful lady???

Long ago when he was just a PA and I was just an editor, we sat and dreamed about moving up the ladder to our dreams.

And funny enough, we moved right on up together. We both ended up in the Promotions department, making trouble and having a blast together.



He does incredibly creative videos like this:


He's absolutely hilarious, super talented, and genuinely one of the nicest people I've ever met.

He's been so supportive of every single thing I've ever done, and the only reason I stayed sane during the most difficult nights at work.


We shared so many laughs, and definitely a lot of tears too.

And lucky for me, he just started his own business!

I was so thrilled he'd be able to our wedding video, especially since I'm super awkward on camera and he'll be able to get me comfortable and laugh a little because likely I'll be a big mess.

If you want to fan girl all over his work, you can find him on Twitter:

@andrewcolesmith

Or you can check out his amazing new business here.

And you can check out some wedding videos he has done here.

Plus, you can see all the fun stuff he does too on his Youtube page here.



I can't wait to have this genius capturing all the magic!

There Will Still Be Bad Days

Later Christmas night, I was laying on the couch looking at my dazzling ring and I said, "I don't think I could ever be sad again, because I'll always be able to look at this ring."

And really, it's hard to not feel so very loved in the midst of all this wedding frenzy.

But the truth of the matter is, there will still be bad days.


Any of you out there who are married or have been in relationships know that. Any of us that have depression know that. But this week has been a huge reminder that even if everything in life seems peachy, there will always be those days.


It's been a long week for the world. Tragedy covers our newsfeeds at pretty much every turn, even Buzzfeed, our sanctuary away from reality during our work days can't help but have the headline of disaster.

I came home yesterday in tears. Not for any particular reason, maybe the news of the day had gottent to me, but even with my newest medicine some days my depression rears it's ugly head and overpowers me...leaving me held hostage to my own emotions.

It's kind of funny, when those spells are over, to look back at the ridiculous things you said at your weakest moments. Like, for instance, last night as I was laying there crying (again, brought on by nothing) I sputtered out through my tears to my bo---I guess I get to say fiancee now?--to my fiancee that I was sad because his wedding gift is so amazing and I have to hide it from him for a year.

He couldn't help but laugh, and today I laughed about it too, because that's really a completely ridiculous thing to be crying about.

But still, those days come and go. And he holds me those nights and reassures me that it will pass and it always does. It takes a pretty strong person to deal with it all, and I'm glad I've got one of the strongest.

There's a sense of guilt that comes along with having good things happening to you, and I know we've all felt it at some time or another.

Whether it's a promotion, or a new boyfriend, or even if you just are having a really good day...it seems like there is always something going on or someone around you that has to remind you that somewhere, to someone, everything still sucks.

And it's hard to get past that when you're happy. When you're looking around and seeing all you've got, and you look out and see there are so many sad people, so many tragic things happening and you feel that innate sense of guilt for having it so good.

But it's important to step back and think about all the bad days you have had. The nights you spent sleeping in your car, the mornings you woke up in the hospital next to your mother's bed, the breakups and the breakdowns and the give ups and the let downs.

We ALL have bad days. We all still have bad days coming. But that's why it's so necessary to take these good days, these moments of happiness that seem like they'll never end and tell ourselves we DESERVE them.


I honestly can't wait to be married, but I know I'm not going into a land of rainbows and puppys and kittens. Well, ok, sort I am going into puppy and kitten land, or, I am there already, but you know what I mean.

It's not meant to be an easy road. It's meant to be a really bumpy, awful, disastrous road of life that you travel down with someone who makes mostly every day, feel like a really great day...and the bad days seem survivable.


So there will still be bad days. But I'll have my Italian boy by my side. So I'm ready for them.

More Than Picture Perfect

I'm one of the lucky brides-to-be because my fiancee is not only tolerating all my planning, but is actively participating and (at least pretending) to be excited.

I can't tell you how many grooms I've seen being dragged, kicking and screaming through bridal show after bridal show or falling asleep during a consultation.

But here he is, letting me interrupt Far Cry every two and a half seconds to show him a new pin, or force him to choose between my latest shades of blue...knowing all the while that we literally have almost forever to all this stuff, but also knowing and understanding that in my head it all has to be accomplished NOW.

He's an awfully sweet guy, but to ease his misery and increase his gameplay time I've made every appointment we need to have for our vendors all in one week.

A dinner each night of the week, and then he's done! (Well, for now...at least.)

And tonight, oh my gosh. It was a great night. Because we got to meet with our photographers.

 This is Kathleen and Joe Atkins.

Besides being ADORABLE and super fun, they're also an incredible wife-husband photographer duo. 

This is the kind of stuff they create: 

(All courtesy of JOPHOTO...duh)

So yeah, they're pretty much amazing. I stalk them on Facebook and Pinterest and I was determined at all cost (including moving my wedding date) that I would have them as my photographers!

I know a ton of talented photographers, but these guys aren't just talented they are stand out people too. 

Last Christmas my brother, who is in the Navy, surprised me for my college graduation. You can cry over that video here.  

But with it being last minute, we had no idea that we'd have the opportunity to do this Christmas present idea we'd been planning for the next time he was home, which was family portraits for my mother. 

We called up JOPHOTO, and without hesitating they swooped in and saved the day, giving us these wonderful portraits that made my mom cry all Christmas morning. They literally took the photos and got them to us the next day DURING CHRISTMAS. 

We met with them tonight, and they immediately put me at ease about my big day. I know that I have the dream team, and I'm so excited to have them capturing our engagement photos and our wedding day with the same sense of adventure and excitement that Eric and I have. 

And now you have to go stalk them too!

You can go obsess over their work on Pinterest here.

Or you can melt all over the pictures on their Facebook here. 

ORRRR you can read every word on their blog here!

And you can check out some of my favorites that I've pinned to my Blog Board: Follow Marvyl's board To Be Triscritti on Pinterest.

I told Eric I was so excited because I know they're going to make me look like a princess. A JOPHOTO PRINCESS. 

Tomorrow, we'll be meeting with our videographer, and I'll be sharing the rest of the week with you all! 

Blinging in the New Year

In the car on the way home from the New Year's Eve party we'd attended, I felt less than fantastic.

We'd had a wonderful night with friends, dancing in the kitchen and sleeping on an air mattress with no air and drinking lots of champagne.

Lots. Of. Champagne.


We all stayed the night at the party house (safety first, kids) and rang in the New Year with Ryan Seacrest like the rest of the country...and then went to bed soon after because we're old now and I guess that's what happens.

But it was all very fun, and it ended the best possible way which was smuggling champagne via very obvious water bottles into Waffle House for mimosas and the healing power of hashbrowns covered and chunked.

Although it had helped I still felt less than fantastic and very eager to walk of shame my ass up to my bed and sleep for eternity.

Anyways, so we're in the car and at the world's most awful red light we were trapped again, and this group of peppy, ADIDAS sporting, resolution starting joggers gallivant across the street walk.

My jaw slowly dropped and I yelled, "GO HOME JOGGERS! NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! GOD! I HATE YOU GUYS! BOOOOOOO!"

Now, I should probably preface this with the fact that my road rage commentary is not an unusual thing. It's probably when I'm most irrationally outraged at anything, but THIS. THIS was too much.

It was 9:45 AM on New Year's Day. I'm trying not to vomit all over the leggings I'm currently calling pants, and these guys are just jogging and smiling and being real people!


I bet you're reading this and you're all, Marvyl, I don't read this nonsense to hear about your hungover rants! What does this have to do with your wedding??

But friends, when I turned my outraged face to my fiance, his reaction was perfect. Because he, without missing a beat and with completely sincerity, yells "YEAH! DAMN!"

And to everyone out there reading this, it probably makes no sense why this moment in time stands out to me. But it's these moments of mutual insanity that make me entirely, utterly, head over heels in love with my boy.

Even if he has to yell every time he gets drunk that he IS in fact an Eagle Scout and that DOES ensure he can handle whatever it is we're trying to do. Even if he's still vehemently trying to make our wedding Ninja Turtle themed. And even if he was too inebriated to figure out how to make our air mattress hold air and we slept on the floor all night.

Because when I think of the partner I want to share the rest of my life with, I want it to be the person who will be outraged that people are being healthy the day after New Year's Eve, and will allow me to yell as much as I want about it.

I had a really spectacular year last year. I got to achieve so many of my dreams including traveling to another country, getting a dog, advancing in my career, I bought my first car, I saw One Direction and Ray LaMontagne, I met Scott freaking Hamilton, got to train as a Lumberjill, and I, you know, got engaged!

So many exciting things to look forward to in 2015, and I'm so happy for the loved ones I have to share it all with.


 So 2015, LET'S DO THIS.